A little emotion now...

The last post was all facts and not much emotion.
I thought it's only fair to put a little emotion out there too.

For the most part I've been 'ignoring' the problem while taking care of it at the same time.
That may sound like an oxymoron, but let me explain.

I believe the mind can convince the body of almost anything.
I have been doing my best making sure I say "I have been DIAGNOSED with Breast Cancer" instead of saying "I HAVE Breast Cancer". I slip once in a while, I'm only human.

So, I'm doing research and going through the motions but trying to not let it get me down on a daily basis.

Mind over matter, always.

It's getting late but one quick story that I think is funny now but for sure wasn't at the time.

I was making dinner and cutting strawberries.
Started thinking to myself that strawberries don't need to be cut to be eaten and I'm just wasting time. Well, with my mind going 100 miles an hour that quickly lead to I'm wasting life, and who knows how much of it is left.

This lead to tears and an Oscar worthy breakdown slash temper tantrum.

After all was said and done I made it back to the kitchen.
Eric made me a plate of food even though I said I was no longer hungry.

I took the plate, looked around and just felt lost. I had plenty of places I could sit to eat, but for some reason couldn't move to go to any of them, none of them felt like that's where I wanted to be.
Finally after a minute or so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and ate dinner there.
Eric had 2 friends over, the 4 of us sat on the kitchen floor and ate dinner there, no questions asked. One of them didn't even know what was wrong yet, I was convinced he was never going to come back for dinner after that. :)

 I have a great man and some pretty good friends too!