The last post was all facts and not much emotion.
I thought it's only fair to put a little emotion out there too.
For the most part I've been 'ignoring' the problem while taking care of it at the same time.
That may sound like an oxymoron, but let me explain.
I believe the mind can convince the body of almost anything.
I have been doing my best making sure I say "I have been DIAGNOSED with Breast Cancer" instead of saying "I HAVE Breast Cancer". I slip once in a while, I'm only human.
So, I'm doing research and going through the motions but trying to not let it get me down on a daily basis.
Mind over matter, always.
It's getting late but one quick story that I think is funny now but for sure wasn't at the time.
I was making dinner and cutting strawberries.
Started thinking to myself that strawberries don't need to be cut to be eaten and I'm just wasting time. Well, with my mind going 100 miles an hour that quickly lead to I'm wasting life, and who knows how much of it is left.
This lead to tears and an Oscar worthy breakdown slash temper tantrum.
After all was said and done I made it back to the kitchen.
Eric made me a plate of food even though I said I was no longer hungry.
I took the plate, looked around and just felt lost. I had plenty of places I could sit to eat, but for some reason couldn't move to go to any of them, none of them felt like that's where I wanted to be.
Finally after a minute or so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and ate dinner there.
Eric had 2 friends over, the 4 of us sat on the kitchen floor and ate dinner there, no questions asked. One of them didn't even know what was wrong yet, I was convinced he was never going to come back for dinner after that. :)
I have a great man and some pretty good friends too!
Monday, April 28, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
The story thus far.
January 2014 - Found 2 lumps on the right side. One large one and one pea sized one.
March 26th, 2014 - Annual physical, Doc is concerned about the smaller lump because it's so far on the 'outside' of the breast area.
April 1st, 2014 - Get an ultrasound to check out what's going on. Results come back before you leave. They want to biopsy the larger lump because it's misshaped. There are 8 pea sized lumps, but they aren't concerning. I said if they are going to biopsy something that is an inch from the other lump they should biopsy both. They agreed to do this.
April 3rd, 2014 - Get a biopsy of both lumps, now wait.
April 4th, 2014 - Primary Doc calls directly (not his nurse), this is never good news. The results came back, good we took 2 biopsies, they are 2 different types of cancer. Time to schedule an appointment with an Oncologist.
April 8th, 2014 - 2 hour meeting with the Oncologist to ask questions, read pathology reports, discuss options and move forward.
April 9th, 2014 Morning - Meet with genetics Doctor to do a BRCA1 & BRCA2 test. Discuss what will happen if this comes back positive... will take 3-4 weeks to get results.
April 9th, 2014 Afternoon - Get a mammogram to look at both sides (only looked at the right thus far). Mammogram results come back mixed, asked to stay to do a full (both sides) ultrasound. Found lumps in the left side. Waiting again.
April 11th, 2014 - Brain MRI. Had complained of headaches. Breast Cancer can spread to the brain so want to double check that it hadn't spread. Wait.
April 15th, 2014 Morning - Breast MRI. Checking all the spots as well as the lymph nodes. This was an interesting experience. Google it if you're bored.
April 15th, 2014 Afternoon - Try to meet with an insurance broker to get new insurance by May 1st.
April 16th, 2014 Morning - Meet with main Surgeon to discuss options and suggestions. Bilateral Mastectomy is decided it is the best choice. Few more decisions to be made, I have until surgery day to decide.
April 16th, 2014 Afternoon - Back to main Doctor to get IUD placed, taken off regular birth control on April 4th.
April 17th, 2014 - Meet with the Oncologist again to followup with what has happened thus far. No brain cancer, this is great news! Plan next steps and appointments.
April 18th, 2014 - Get teeth cleaned, won't be able to do this during Chemotherapy.
April 21st, 2014 - Meet with plastic surgeon to discuss options and what to expect.
April 23rd, 2014 - Get an Echo to make sure heart is healthy enough for Chemo.
April 24th, 2014 - Get 8 cavities filled, a tooth pulled and a crown. Filled even the smallest cavities to better the chances that chemo won't make things worse.
April 27th, 2014 - Start a blog and hope for the best.
Surgery is set for May 6th, 2014.
March 26th, 2014 - Annual physical, Doc is concerned about the smaller lump because it's so far on the 'outside' of the breast area.
April 1st, 2014 - Get an ultrasound to check out what's going on. Results come back before you leave. They want to biopsy the larger lump because it's misshaped. There are 8 pea sized lumps, but they aren't concerning. I said if they are going to biopsy something that is an inch from the other lump they should biopsy both. They agreed to do this.
April 3rd, 2014 - Get a biopsy of both lumps, now wait.
April 4th, 2014 - Primary Doc calls directly (not his nurse), this is never good news. The results came back, good we took 2 biopsies, they are 2 different types of cancer. Time to schedule an appointment with an Oncologist.
April 8th, 2014 - 2 hour meeting with the Oncologist to ask questions, read pathology reports, discuss options and move forward.
April 9th, 2014 Morning - Meet with genetics Doctor to do a BRCA1 & BRCA2 test. Discuss what will happen if this comes back positive... will take 3-4 weeks to get results.
April 9th, 2014 Afternoon - Get a mammogram to look at both sides (only looked at the right thus far). Mammogram results come back mixed, asked to stay to do a full (both sides) ultrasound. Found lumps in the left side. Waiting again.
April 11th, 2014 - Brain MRI. Had complained of headaches. Breast Cancer can spread to the brain so want to double check that it hadn't spread. Wait.
April 15th, 2014 Morning - Breast MRI. Checking all the spots as well as the lymph nodes. This was an interesting experience. Google it if you're bored.
April 15th, 2014 Afternoon - Try to meet with an insurance broker to get new insurance by May 1st.
April 16th, 2014 Morning - Meet with main Surgeon to discuss options and suggestions. Bilateral Mastectomy is decided it is the best choice. Few more decisions to be made, I have until surgery day to decide.
April 16th, 2014 Afternoon - Back to main Doctor to get IUD placed, taken off regular birth control on April 4th.
April 17th, 2014 - Meet with the Oncologist again to followup with what has happened thus far. No brain cancer, this is great news! Plan next steps and appointments.
April 18th, 2014 - Get teeth cleaned, won't be able to do this during Chemotherapy.
April 21st, 2014 - Meet with plastic surgeon to discuss options and what to expect.
April 23rd, 2014 - Get an Echo to make sure heart is healthy enough for Chemo.
April 24th, 2014 - Get 8 cavities filled, a tooth pulled and a crown. Filled even the smallest cavities to better the chances that chemo won't make things worse.
April 27th, 2014 - Start a blog and hope for the best.
Surgery is set for May 6th, 2014.
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