I feel like every time I write a post I say sorry that I haven't wrote in a while.
I'm not going to say sorry this time.
My last chemo treatment was on October 13th I was finally starting to get my energy back before radiation started.
With some energy I hadn't been sitting at my computer as much so I haven't found the time to post.
I consider this a win!
Cumulative fatigue from radiation is setting in now but it's no where near as bad and shouldn't be bad for very long, maybe a month.
I started radiation on November 10th and finished December 16th. This was a full time job!
Pills 3 times a day with food. That was what made that part hard, with food.
Lotion 6 times a day. Since I couldn't just sit in the office at work/in public to put it on that was quite time consuming as well.
Then going to the cancer center everyday was time consuming too.
My appointments were at 4:15, sometimes I was in an out by 4:30, sometimes I was there until 5:30.
Two weeks before radiation they took saline out of the left expander. This left one side with 200cc and the other side was expanded to 440cc. They did this for 2 reasons. First the extra expansion was because the skin gets more tight and expanding a little more helps the plastic surgeon make things look 'correct' in the end. The lowered side is so the radiation would make it to the right places and not having something in the way.
The week before radiation I went in to an MRI machine for about an hour for mapping.
They put 4 'tattoos' on me. They are purple and the size of a ball point pen.
These hurt WAY more than a regular tattoo.
There is one on each size and 2 in the middle.
They used these to line me up each time to the EXACT same position.
I had 25 radiation treatments in 6 weeks.
The routine was as follows:
Check in at the front desk, change into a gown, sit and wait.
Go back to the room. Lay on the table. Ask for a warm blanket :) Arms up while the machine moves back into place. 2 people were in the room and would use the tattoos to line me up. The machine would start on my upper left, make a few strange noises and move to the right and kind of 'under' me. Someone would come in, add a piece to the machine, push a button and leave. More strange noises and done. The whole process once in the room took 5-7 minutes. Change and go home.
Throughout radiation my skin had lots of changes. I will post pictures of that in a few weeks. (Don't worry, the worst of it was on my side and that's the only pictures I will share) :)
I have Herceptin every third week until July and one more surgery in the spring to put in the silicone implants.
I'm told I'll feel much better after that surgery, I can't wait!
No more Cruisin for Cleavage shirts, we couldn't get a hold of the guy to print more. I'm sorry.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a safe New Year's Eve.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Overall Mortality Rate...
... is still hovering around 100% for humans as a whole.
Got your attention :)
I'm trying to get better about posting and it's been a week since the last.
Yesterday was the last of my long treatments, this is a blessing mostly.
A little scary as in 2 weeks chemo is done completely.
This has been my crutch, there is only about a 1% chance of cancer growing while on chemo...
So in roughly 13 days the crutch is gone completely.
However in about 60-75 days the side effects will subside almost completely as well.
I'm VERY ready for this to happen!
They were running behind yesterday so I was there until 5:30.
Mom and I had a dance party towards the end, it was great! :)
My cold is almost gone, whew that kicked my butt!
Chemo sucks but that stuffy nose got the best of me for a few days, to say the least.
I went to a support group last night to talk about Tamoxifen (the pill they want me on 10 years).
There was an Oncologist there to answer our questions.
Lucky for me there was only me and one other lady there.
She didn't have many questions.
This left 75 minutes of just me asking question after question.
This was very helpful and I feel a little better about my options.
Back to where I started this post.
No one gets out alive anyway so make sure you have plenty of fun and laughter along the way.
My advise:
Make sure to remove toxic relationships from your life to help alleviate the stress those cause.
That can be hard but they will bring you down faster than almost anything else in my opinion.
Find something everyday to be positive about.
Don't take things too seriously. One example that comes to mind from a few years ago... I was driving to the airport. I was on the phone with my mom. Something flew up and hit my windshield. It cracked right away. "SHIT" I said and then continued my conversation in a calm manner. Mom wondered why I wasn't more upset. There was no need to be, it happened, I couldn't change that and being angry about it wasn't going to change anything, it happened. It wasn't life altering either. So it rolled off my shoulders and I had actually completely forgot about it until I got back in the truck when I got home from the trip and saw it.
Do something small for someone else daily.
The little things add up and will always be more important and better memories than the big things in the end.
Did I mention I REALLY miss coffee :) (Not for the coffee either.)
I truly believe that I've been doing so well, at least emotionally, so far because of the great senses of humor around me.
I'm very grateful that I have Eric here everyday to make me laugh and smile.
This is one of the best medicines!
Tomorrow is the first day of October, where did the summer go?!
Poll:
My birthday is on the 28th... Do I celebrate my 28th on the 28th or just stick to my original plan of doing 27 over again?
Got your attention :)
I'm trying to get better about posting and it's been a week since the last.
Yesterday was the last of my long treatments, this is a blessing mostly.
A little scary as in 2 weeks chemo is done completely.
This has been my crutch, there is only about a 1% chance of cancer growing while on chemo...
So in roughly 13 days the crutch is gone completely.
However in about 60-75 days the side effects will subside almost completely as well.
I'm VERY ready for this to happen!
They were running behind yesterday so I was there until 5:30.
Mom and I had a dance party towards the end, it was great! :)
My cold is almost gone, whew that kicked my butt!
Chemo sucks but that stuffy nose got the best of me for a few days, to say the least.
I went to a support group last night to talk about Tamoxifen (the pill they want me on 10 years).
There was an Oncologist there to answer our questions.
Lucky for me there was only me and one other lady there.
She didn't have many questions.
This left 75 minutes of just me asking question after question.
This was very helpful and I feel a little better about my options.
Back to where I started this post.
No one gets out alive anyway so make sure you have plenty of fun and laughter along the way.
My advise:
Make sure to remove toxic relationships from your life to help alleviate the stress those cause.
That can be hard but they will bring you down faster than almost anything else in my opinion.
Find something everyday to be positive about.
Don't take things too seriously. One example that comes to mind from a few years ago... I was driving to the airport. I was on the phone with my mom. Something flew up and hit my windshield. It cracked right away. "SHIT" I said and then continued my conversation in a calm manner. Mom wondered why I wasn't more upset. There was no need to be, it happened, I couldn't change that and being angry about it wasn't going to change anything, it happened. It wasn't life altering either. So it rolled off my shoulders and I had actually completely forgot about it until I got back in the truck when I got home from the trip and saw it.
Do something small for someone else daily.
The little things add up and will always be more important and better memories than the big things in the end.
Did I mention I REALLY miss coffee :) (Not for the coffee either.)
I truly believe that I've been doing so well, at least emotionally, so far because of the great senses of humor around me.
I'm very grateful that I have Eric here everyday to make me laugh and smile.
This is one of the best medicines!
Tomorrow is the first day of October, where did the summer go?!
Poll:
My birthday is on the 28th... Do I celebrate my 28th on the 28th or just stick to my original plan of doing 27 over again?
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
The Day of A Lifetime
Wow.
Where do I even start?
I've always disliked when people say "It was the best day of my life".
If this is the case what else is there to live for?
So, please try to start saying 'so far' after these types of comments.
With that in mind, Saturday September 13th, 2014 - Cruisin' for Cleavage - 1st Annual Poker Run was one of the best days of my life, so far.
Where do I even start?
I've always disliked when people say "It was the best day of my life".
If this is the case what else is there to live for?
So, please try to start saying 'so far' after these types of comments.
With that in mind, Saturday September 13th, 2014 - Cruisin' for Cleavage - 1st Annual Poker Run was one of the best days of my life, so far.
People
have birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, babies being born, engagements
etc. They are all memorable, but I'm not sure anything will compare to
the memories of yesterday.
The amount of people and support was amazing.
The mix of different types/groups of people all coming together made everything that much better.
We had 145 registrations come through. I didn't count but I feel like there were many more people than that.
The mix of different types/groups of people all coming together made everything that much better.
We had 145 registrations come through. I didn't count but I feel like there were many more people than that.
I didn't go to registration but I was at the first stop.
3 people beat me but then I stayed and watched everyone else come through and play the game.
It took almost 3 hours to get everyone through. It was great!
I left with one of the last groups of people and road to the next stop.
Wasn't there long and I left with a different group of people to the next stop.
On the way my heart sank, a bike had gone down.
I heard mixed things about what happened but I did find out the rider was ok over all.
He ended up with some broken bones but no head or organ damage.
I was grateful to hear this news.
Sad that someone came out for me and ended up in pain themselves though.
3 people beat me but then I stayed and watched everyone else come through and play the game.
It took almost 3 hours to get everyone through. It was great!
I left with one of the last groups of people and road to the next stop.
Wasn't there long and I left with a different group of people to the next stop.
On the way my heart sank, a bike had gone down.
I heard mixed things about what happened but I did find out the rider was ok over all.
He ended up with some broken bones but no head or organ damage.
I was grateful to hear this news.
Sad that someone came out for me and ended up in pain themselves though.
I met people that have read the blog and followed along this whole time. That's was a little weird at first but good at the same time.
I'm glad people are following.
That is nice to hear!
I had one lady say she is following and knows someone who was recently diagnosed and the blog has helped them so far with what to expect next and to realize that it isn't the end of the world. There can still be laughs and positive attitudes! I'm glad I've helped someone, even if it's just one person, it's worth it. (PS, when you're reading this if you have ANY questions feel free to email me.)
I heard some sad stories about lost family and friends to this shitty disease.
Those were a little hard on me, but I understand that's what some people needed to get off their chest that day. (still no pun intended) :)
Lots of tears, stories and laughter were shared on Saturday!
I've been told that Kelsey is pretty bad ass, but I did see tears of amazement and joy on Saturday. It took everything I had not to shed a few myself.
Now the hard part... How do you repay someone who devoted a tremendous amount of time and energy to put something like this together? The only real way to pay them back in the same fashion would be if something terrible happened to them as well.
Of course I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
With that in mind I will be ever indebted to my sister Kelsey.
Kelsey, be proud, you did a wonderful job!
Not to discredit what anyone else did but none of this would have happened without her.
A lot of this wouldn't have happened without the additional volunteers and bars to help as well.
The monitary turn out wouldn't have happened without the generous donations of various companies and individuals throughout Northern Colorado either.
A big, warm, THANK YOU to everyone that helped put this together.
The final numbers at the end of the day was just over $9,000 with $700 in prize payouts.
(I have random 'entry fees' still coming in from people that couldn't make it, when I get a grand total I will update this post)
This was hard to believe and didn't sink in until the next day and I just wept on my couch.
With this and the previous financial donations the weight of medical bills for 2014 and I'm 90% sure the medical bills for 2015 will be taken care of in total.
Without this stress over my head I am able to focus that much more energy on my success at kickin' ass.
I cannot say thank you enough for everyone involved that donated their time, energy and opened their wallets to help as well.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
We will be putting in an order for more t-shirts this weekend.
If you want one and missed out please let me know asap.
We will be collecting money before ordering.
There are grey or pink shirts and pink tank tops.
$12
Everyday should be filled with joy, laughter, happiness, love, human touch, and honesty.
--- Post coming about this soon.
--- Post coming about this soon.
Sorry it took longer to write this post than it should have.
I came down with a terrible cold last week and didn't have the energy to write.
I'm getting better now!
I apologize.
When this was first planned I said I wanted to pay it forward and help someone else next year, with that in mind;
We will have a 2nd Annual Cruisin' For Cleavage Poker Run next September, recipient to be decided.
Can't wait to see you all there!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Cruisin For Cleavage September 13th!
Kelsey has been BUSY!
The poker run is coming up in just over 2 weeks.
So far looks like we're going to have a lot of great people there, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone!
There are quite a few that will be doing the ride as a drive in their cars/trucks.
We're happy to see this as well, you don't have to have a bike to have fun!
There will be games at each stop, silent auction and one more surprise at the end.
Come join for the fun before it snows!
If you have any questions please let me or Kelsey know.
There is a link at the bottom to download the PDF as well.
Description from Facebook event:
We are cruisin' for Cleavage!!
Registration will begin at 10:00 am in Severance, CO at Bruce's Bar. Last bike out by 11:00.
Cost- $15.00 for a single rider
$20.00 for a couple
Starting at Bruce's bar in Severance
1st Canyon Grill, Ft. Collins
2nd Wind Jammer, Loveland
3rd Derby Grille, Berthoud
4th Office Lounge, Loveland
The top two best poker hands will win cash!!
Link to download the PDF:
Flier PDF Download
When you get to the new page click "Click here to start download from sendspace"
Don't click on any of the other advertising BS!
The poker run is coming up in just over 2 weeks.
So far looks like we're going to have a lot of great people there, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone!
There are quite a few that will be doing the ride as a drive in their cars/trucks.
We're happy to see this as well, you don't have to have a bike to have fun!
There will be games at each stop, silent auction and one more surprise at the end.
Come join for the fun before it snows!
If you have any questions please let me or Kelsey know.
There is a link at the bottom to download the PDF as well.
Description from Facebook event:
We are cruisin' for Cleavage!!
Registration will begin at 10:00 am in Severance, CO at Bruce's Bar. Last bike out by 11:00.
Cost- $15.00 for a single rider
$20.00 for a couple
Starting at Bruce's bar in Severance
1st Canyon Grill, Ft. Collins
2nd Wind Jammer, Loveland
3rd Derby Grille, Berthoud
4th Office Lounge, Loveland
The top two best poker hands will win cash!!
Link to download the PDF:
Flier PDF Download
When you get to the new page click "Click here to start download from sendspace"
Don't click on any of the other advertising BS!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
New Chemo and Radiation Decision
It's been almost 3 weeks since my last post.
Sorry about that!
I ended up in the ER 2 weeks ago (Sunday) for a few hours.
Blood counts were low.
Had to go for more blood tests Monday and Tuesday.
Weird, you go to the ER because you're loosing too much blood and the first thing do is take more blood.
I'm better now though.
Last Monday I started new chemo, Taxol.
This is every Monday until October 20th. (12 treatments)
Every third week I also have Herceptin and Perjeta. (These are antibodies, not chemo)
I will have Herceptin every third week until August 2015.
Perjeta just until October.
While this chemo takes much longer the side effects aren't nearly as bad as the AC I was on before this. I'm very thankful for that.
The first thing they do is give me Benadryl.
I'm back to involuntary naps now. :)
Then steroids and stomach meds.
Then Herceptin (90 min)
Then Perjeta (90 min)
Then Taxol (90 min)
All of the meds are put in saline and 'delivered' that way, makes me very cold!
The first treatment that included all 3 I was there from 9:30-4:30.
I'm glad Mom was there to help get me food and watch me sleep.
I would be very appreciative if I could get 'volunteers' to maybe help bring food on the long days.
I do sleep and work during treatments so I don't need people to sit with me the whole time, but I do get very hungry!
After all this is done I will have a month 'off'.
Then I have decided with the help of others that radiation is the best idea for me.
This will start around November 20th and will go for 5 weeks.
I will get 25 treatments in that time.
Going there everyday is going to take a toll on me I'm sure but we feel it's the right thing to do.
Hope to see everyone on September 13th!
Monday, July 14, 2014
10K Views and the Last Slurpee of my life
WOW!
The blog has received 10,000 views.
Reached 30+ countries. (Estonia being second after the US for views)
Made it to a few Latvian websites.
and more!
I'm currently sitting getting my last RED DEVIL chemo treatment.
I think I have drank the last slurpee of my life too.
I don't think I can ever even look at one the same again.
Never before did I believe it was possible to get nauseated just from the thought of something.
Guess I've learned, anything is possible!
(In case I didn't cover it before, during 15 minutes of the treatment you have to keep your mouth as cold as possible to avoid mouth sores. During the first treatment they suggested chewing on ice. I didn't want to do this because it hurts my teeth. Not thinking, I got a slurpee instead.)
Not much else to update.
I'm still bald.
Haven't lost anymore weight, haven't gained any back either.
Still miss being able to have coffee every morning. :)
My sister, Kelsey, is putting together a fundraising event for September 13th.
Details will come sometime in the next 2 weeks but please save the date!
Round B of chemo is 12 weeks long.
This starts in 2 weeks, July 28th.
It is going to take 6-8 hours, going to be a long day!
Hope everyone had a nice weekend and happy Monday.
The blog has received 10,000 views.
Reached 30+ countries. (Estonia being second after the US for views)
Made it to a few Latvian websites.
and more!
I'm currently sitting getting my last RED DEVIL chemo treatment.
I think I have drank the last slurpee of my life too.
I don't think I can ever even look at one the same again.
Never before did I believe it was possible to get nauseated just from the thought of something.
Guess I've learned, anything is possible!
(In case I didn't cover it before, during 15 minutes of the treatment you have to keep your mouth as cold as possible to avoid mouth sores. During the first treatment they suggested chewing on ice. I didn't want to do this because it hurts my teeth. Not thinking, I got a slurpee instead.)
Not much else to update.
I'm still bald.
Haven't lost anymore weight, haven't gained any back either.
Still miss being able to have coffee every morning. :)
My sister, Kelsey, is putting together a fundraising event for September 13th.
Details will come sometime in the next 2 weeks but please save the date!
Round B of chemo is 12 weeks long.
This starts in 2 weeks, July 28th.
It is going to take 6-8 hours, going to be a long day!
Hope everyone had a nice weekend and happy Monday.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Chemo process
Ok, in my last post I promised I would let you know how a chemo treatment goes so here it is:
Monday
11:45 visit with doctor about how things are going and address any questions.
12:00 sit down in the chemo area (this time I opted for a private room)
12:15 nurse comes in and introduces herself and taps the port
12:30 port flush just to realize it's 'clogged'
12:45 put in meds to flush port, wait 30 min
13:15 still clogged, wait 30 min
13:50 ok, it's good to go, draw blood to be tested (if the counts aren't high enough there is no chemo)
14:15 everything is ok start steroid drip
14:45 start anti nausea drip
15:15 flush
15:30 start chemo 1 (red nasty stuff)
15:45 start second chemo
16:45 flush
17:00 DONE - what a day.
17:15 Get hair chopped off since clumps are coming out.
Tuesday
15:00 Sit down in chemo area
15:05-15:15 everyone comes looks at my hair :)
15:15 Start IV hydration drip
4:30 get immune system shot (this is what messes up everything for the next 2 days!)
What a time consuming process!
I have a faux hawk now. When the rest falls out I'll post all the pictures, sometime later this week I'm sure it'll happen!
Thanx for stopping by.
Monday
11:45 visit with doctor about how things are going and address any questions.
12:00 sit down in the chemo area (this time I opted for a private room)
12:15 nurse comes in and introduces herself and taps the port
12:30 port flush just to realize it's 'clogged'
12:45 put in meds to flush port, wait 30 min
13:15 still clogged, wait 30 min
13:50 ok, it's good to go, draw blood to be tested (if the counts aren't high enough there is no chemo)
14:15 everything is ok start steroid drip
14:45 start anti nausea drip
15:15 flush
15:30 start chemo 1 (red nasty stuff)
15:45 start second chemo
16:45 flush
17:00 DONE - what a day.
17:15 Get hair chopped off since clumps are coming out.
Tuesday
15:00 Sit down in chemo area
15:05-15:15 everyone comes looks at my hair :)
15:15 Start IV hydration drip
4:30 get immune system shot (this is what messes up everything for the next 2 days!)
What a time consuming process!
I have a faux hawk now. When the rest falls out I'll post all the pictures, sometime later this week I'm sure it'll happen!
Thanx for stopping by.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Scolded by the oncologist
Whoops!! Somehow I lost 13lbs in a week so.... who wants to go out to eat this week? :)
Other than that no bad news at the docs today.
I seem to be almost back to normal feeling today, bit tired this morning.
Hair is supposed to fall out by Sunday, 4 days sooner than I was ready for, but guess it's time to brush those wigs!
I did get a FaceBook message today telling me it wasn't appropriate for me to post cancer stuff there.
Any guesses what happened after that?
Oh, I have one less FB friend.
That's all the updates I have until chemo on the 16th, hope everyone has a great week!
Other than that no bad news at the docs today.
I seem to be almost back to normal feeling today, bit tired this morning.
Hair is supposed to fall out by Sunday, 4 days sooner than I was ready for, but guess it's time to brush those wigs!
I did get a FaceBook message today telling me it wasn't appropriate for me to post cancer stuff there.
Any guesses what happened after that?
Oh, I have one less FB friend.
That's all the updates I have until chemo on the 16th, hope everyone has a great week!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Chemo is kicking my ass
Hi everyone.
I know I said I'd post more often but I gotta be honest it's taking everything I have to post this right now.
The very short of it;
Chemo started Monday, IV drip and immune shot Tuesday.
It's kicking my ass, I'm tired but can't sleep.
Yesterday my bones hurt from the inside, mostly from the waist up, strange and painful feeling.
Today I'm not sure how I got the energy to shower, but thankfully I did and Dayna braided my hair again.
Mom brought dinner 3 hours ago and is on her way back to clean up after me right now, just to give you an idea of how little energy I have. Yes, I called my mom to help me clean up my plates after the dinner she bought and brought me.
When I have more energy I'll post more about what's been happening.
Next chemo treatment is June 16th, likely that is when I'll post exact details of what it consists of.
(Red devil chemo, google it if you're bored)
Good night everyone.
I know I said I'd post more often but I gotta be honest it's taking everything I have to post this right now.
The very short of it;
Chemo started Monday, IV drip and immune shot Tuesday.
It's kicking my ass, I'm tired but can't sleep.
Yesterday my bones hurt from the inside, mostly from the waist up, strange and painful feeling.
Today I'm not sure how I got the energy to shower, but thankfully I did and Dayna braided my hair again.
Mom brought dinner 3 hours ago and is on her way back to clean up after me right now, just to give you an idea of how little energy I have. Yes, I called my mom to help me clean up my plates after the dinner she bought and brought me.
When I have more energy I'll post more about what's been happening.
Next chemo treatment is June 16th, likely that is when I'll post exact details of what it consists of.
(Red devil chemo, google it if you're bored)
Good night everyone.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
CT Scan results
I swear, PVH doesn't have anything together!
I had my CT scan on Friday...
Because of the type of surgery and risks with getting IVs in my arm it was a mess to get the right team of nurses to 'tap' my port. Then to get it all of the crap out after the scan.
This was an interesting experience, they sterilize the area just as much as if I was getting surgery. I can't even watch them put the needle in because I might breathe on it and it won't be sterile anymore. So they make me look away and put a paper on my face.
CT Scan came back great, no cancer! No pneumonia! No blood clots!
Chemo starts Monday... dun dun dun.
Got another wig today.
I had my CT scan on Friday...
Because of the type of surgery and risks with getting IVs in my arm it was a mess to get the right team of nurses to 'tap' my port. Then to get it all of the crap out after the scan.
This was an interesting experience, they sterilize the area just as much as if I was getting surgery. I can't even watch them put the needle in because I might breathe on it and it won't be sterile anymore. So they make me look away and put a paper on my face.
CT Scan came back great, no cancer! No pneumonia! No blood clots!
Chemo starts Monday... dun dun dun.
Got another wig today.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Fills, chemo training and CT Scan
Whew! This Linda lady is going to drive me crazy!
Now backing up, I see Linda tomorrow to do 'chemo training'.
I'm thrilled if you can't tell :)
I have yet to know if she will be part of my whole chemo routine or not.
Friday I have a CT scan on my lungs. This is mostly precautionary, I pushed for it, they weren't sure it was necessary. However they did say, if it's in your lungs we'll find out eventually. I haven't been sleeping and I've been Google-ing WAY too much so I pushed to have peace of mind now instead of just waiting. I should have just done this sooner, like when I had the brain MRI done. I don't know why I put myself through the waiting. Stupid idea!
Yesterday I had my first "fill". 50cc on each side.
This is an instant gratification moment, hahaha!!
One of the strangest feelings in the world at the moment is watching a needle stick in my skin and not feel it. As far as I'm told I won't have feeling ever again. I think I'm young enough that eventually maybe nerves will repair over time. Only time will tell. The body does amazing things.
Speaking of which it's currently pissed off again though. More stretching muscle, feels almost the same as the days right after surgery.
My first chemo session is from 10-1 on Monday, June 2nd.
Thank you to those that have offered to take me. I need to make a decision soon.
Please don't take offense if you've offered and I haven't said anything...
This is going to be one of the hardest sessions I think. It's going to be new, scary and I don't know what to expect. Everyone feels different so they can't tell me what to expect really either. I may have side-effects right away or not until Thursday, another time will tell moment.
Tomorrow I will have the full chemo schedule and will post details this weekend.
See the "Universal Fill Kit" below.
I felt like it was a car part :)
Now backing up, I see Linda tomorrow to do 'chemo training'.
I'm thrilled if you can't tell :)
I have yet to know if she will be part of my whole chemo routine or not.
Friday I have a CT scan on my lungs. This is mostly precautionary, I pushed for it, they weren't sure it was necessary. However they did say, if it's in your lungs we'll find out eventually. I haven't been sleeping and I've been Google-ing WAY too much so I pushed to have peace of mind now instead of just waiting. I should have just done this sooner, like when I had the brain MRI done. I don't know why I put myself through the waiting. Stupid idea!
Yesterday I had my first "fill". 50cc on each side.
This is an instant gratification moment, hahaha!!
One of the strangest feelings in the world at the moment is watching a needle stick in my skin and not feel it. As far as I'm told I won't have feeling ever again. I think I'm young enough that eventually maybe nerves will repair over time. Only time will tell. The body does amazing things.
Speaking of which it's currently pissed off again though. More stretching muscle, feels almost the same as the days right after surgery.
My first chemo session is from 10-1 on Monday, June 2nd.
Thank you to those that have offered to take me. I need to make a decision soon.
Please don't take offense if you've offered and I haven't said anything...
This is going to be one of the hardest sessions I think. It's going to be new, scary and I don't know what to expect. Everyone feels different so they can't tell me what to expect really either. I may have side-effects right away or not until Thursday, another time will tell moment.
Tomorrow I will have the full chemo schedule and will post details this weekend.
See the "Universal Fill Kit" below.
I felt like it was a car part :)
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Updates and more decisions
I've been informed it's been too long since I last posted so I'll try to make sure I include all the updates. :)
Well I got out of the hospital late Thursday night after surgery. (The 8th)
Friday I got the pathology results and posted those.
Last Wednesday I got my drain tubes out... I no longer look like a science experiment and Eric says I'm "wireless" now.
Since then I've been recovering at home, working some starting last week and this week.
Glad to have something to keep my mind busy and very grateful to be able to work from home.
I've had some visitors, thank you, it's been helpful so I don't get so much cabin fever.
Eric, Mom and Laure have helped around the house a bunch.
I can't lift more than 10lbs for about another month or so. That part is hard, 10lbs isn't that much!
My laptop is 5lbs for example.
I'm quickly learning what motions use chest muscles that I didn't realize or didn't think they used that much of the chest muscle.
Turning the wheel in a car stretches most of the muscle quite tight, esp if you go 360º. (Or in my case TRY to do it).
Saw the oncologist yesterday... the negative margin on one of the tumors was only 0.5mm.
(This means that the cancer cells were only 0.5mm away from the edge of what was cut out, the 0.5mm cells were healthy/normal).
She discussed this with the Tumor Board of CO and it's unclear if radiation will be of any benefit.
I will meet with a specialist to talk about pros and cons... I have to decide by October roughly.
There isn't anything suggested at this point and this decision is up to me, I don't know how to decide.
On one hand radiation is SERIOUS STUFF! On the other hand do I ever want something to come back and have to think 'what if I had done radiation?'.
Next week I will have a chemo training class... can't wait!
I will also have a CT scan of my chest to ease my brain about my wheezing. I'm sure it's allergies or stress but will be nice to have a clear brain that it's not cancer.
Chemo starts June 2nd.
Hair will fall out around the second treatment, June 16th.
I bought 2 wigs today.
One has a bit of purple on the bottom, the other is more natural and quite long. So far I love it!
I'll have a full chemo schedule soon, the short of it;
4 treatments in 8 weeks
2 weeks off
12 treatments in 12 weeks
9 months of treatments, every 3rd week.
Second surgery early 2015 likely.
All will be said and done and getting the port out around September 2015.
The above is set until at least November, after that things might change depending on the radiation decision.
Hope everyone enjoyed the rain we just had in CO.
Also hope no one was in the way of the really bad parts.
Well I got out of the hospital late Thursday night after surgery. (The 8th)
Friday I got the pathology results and posted those.
Last Wednesday I got my drain tubes out... I no longer look like a science experiment and Eric says I'm "wireless" now.
Since then I've been recovering at home, working some starting last week and this week.
Glad to have something to keep my mind busy and very grateful to be able to work from home.
I've had some visitors, thank you, it's been helpful so I don't get so much cabin fever.
Eric, Mom and Laure have helped around the house a bunch.
I can't lift more than 10lbs for about another month or so. That part is hard, 10lbs isn't that much!
My laptop is 5lbs for example.
I'm quickly learning what motions use chest muscles that I didn't realize or didn't think they used that much of the chest muscle.
Turning the wheel in a car stretches most of the muscle quite tight, esp if you go 360º. (Or in my case TRY to do it).
Saw the oncologist yesterday... the negative margin on one of the tumors was only 0.5mm.
(This means that the cancer cells were only 0.5mm away from the edge of what was cut out, the 0.5mm cells were healthy/normal).
She discussed this with the Tumor Board of CO and it's unclear if radiation will be of any benefit.
I will meet with a specialist to talk about pros and cons... I have to decide by October roughly.
There isn't anything suggested at this point and this decision is up to me, I don't know how to decide.
On one hand radiation is SERIOUS STUFF! On the other hand do I ever want something to come back and have to think 'what if I had done radiation?'.
Next week I will have a chemo training class... can't wait!
I will also have a CT scan of my chest to ease my brain about my wheezing. I'm sure it's allergies or stress but will be nice to have a clear brain that it's not cancer.
Chemo starts June 2nd.
Hair will fall out around the second treatment, June 16th.
I bought 2 wigs today.
One has a bit of purple on the bottom, the other is more natural and quite long. So far I love it!
I'll have a full chemo schedule soon, the short of it;
4 treatments in 8 weeks
2 weeks off
12 treatments in 12 weeks
9 months of treatments, every 3rd week.
Second surgery early 2015 likely.
All will be said and done and getting the port out around September 2015.
The above is set until at least November, after that things might change depending on the radiation decision.
Hope everyone enjoyed the rain we just had in CO.
Also hope no one was in the way of the really bad parts.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Interior Garden
The flowers keep coming.
Who's more creative than me to help make some collage or something with these?
They are gorgeous, smell amazing and keep me smiling!
Thank you again everyone.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Pathology is back, all great news.
Short but sweet...
Really glad I didn't have to wait until next week for all of this.
No surprises in the pathology reports from the surgery.
Many small tumors that matched the small one from the first biopsy.
1 27mm tumor and 1 12mm tumor (both invasive, also matched the original biopsy).
2 lymph nodes were taken, one from each side, both came back negative, NO SPREADING and NO RADIATION!
Clear margins, also means NO SPREADING!!
No PET scan needed either.
Drain tubes are still in and still gross. The color is changing though, really hoping to get them out Monday.
Looked in the mirror... didn't cry, yet.
Nurses and Docs say I look great... I think they're blind. :)
Thanks for all the support and checking in on me!
Really glad I didn't have to wait until next week for all of this.
No surprises in the pathology reports from the surgery.
Many small tumors that matched the small one from the first biopsy.
1 27mm tumor and 1 12mm tumor (both invasive, also matched the original biopsy).
2 lymph nodes were taken, one from each side, both came back negative, NO SPREADING and NO RADIATION!
Clear margins, also means NO SPREADING!!
No PET scan needed either.
Drain tubes are still in and still gross. The color is changing though, really hoping to get them out Monday.
Looked in the mirror... didn't cry, yet.
Nurses and Docs say I look great... I think they're blind. :)
Thanks for all the support and checking in on me!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Hospital, Flowers, and Fresh Air
My pretty flowers and my OPEN window.
I've gotten so much love at the hospital it's been amazing.
The flowers are gorgeous and I love how many people wonder how the window got open :)
Nothing like having a man by your side that installs glass for a living and makes the hospital stay that much better with the fresh air and being able to hear the thunderstorms we've been having.
It's the little things in life that add up to be the best parts of the big picture, if anyone tells you any different they are missing the best parts of life.
We promised the nurses not to tell the 'crazies' how to open the window.
Fresh air and lots of laughter is great medicine.
Going home in a few hours.
The pain buster (yes that's what the label said) came out today, the tape hurt more than pulling 12" of tubing out each side.
Drains are still in, probably until at least Monday.
Thank you to everyone for everything so far. It's helped more than anyone probably knows.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
The real beginning.
Well up until now this has all been easy tests, annoying needles and being told scary things.
Now comes the real stuff.
Hopefully I get some nurses with decent bedside manner.
Gonna keep the post short as there are way more important things going on.
Thank you to everyone for the support.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Every woman should feel pretty before surgery!!
Thank you to Katie and Balayage Salon for the amazing pre-surgery hair!
Balayage Salon and Spa
This boosted my spirits more than I thought it would!
(PS. Eric said he 'likes what I did to my head') LOL
(PSS. Thanx for reminding me I have cried when you've cut my hair and that I made the right choice to not cut it short to 'get used to it')
Balayage Salon and Spa
This boosted my spirits more than I thought it would!
(PS. Eric said he 'likes what I did to my head') LOL
(PSS. Thanx for reminding me I have cried when you've cut my hair and that I made the right choice to not cut it short to 'get used to it')
Thursday, May 1, 2014
What caused the cancer and my recent donation
While the docs aren't sure what caused the cancer there are many guesses.
My BRCA1 and BRCA 2 tests came back today, no messed up genes.
Great news! They don't want to take my ovaries now!!
The plastic surgeon tried to make me a vegetarian, he says no more store bought animal protein.
Too many hormones and antibiotics given to the animals that we eat.
This makes them bigger and so they don't get sick in the terrible conditions they are raised in.
Tonight I was given 12 frozen chickens, some bacon, pork chops and beef.
All organic, no hormones or antibiotics.
I'm so very thankful for this gift. This will get me off to a great start at being able to eat animal protein still and trust the food isn't full of shit. (Sometimes you just have to cuss) :)
Thank you again!
Donation from JT, Laporte, CO.
My BRCA1 and BRCA 2 tests came back today, no messed up genes.
Great news! They don't want to take my ovaries now!!
The plastic surgeon tried to make me a vegetarian, he says no more store bought animal protein.
Too many hormones and antibiotics given to the animals that we eat.
This makes them bigger and so they don't get sick in the terrible conditions they are raised in.
Tonight I was given 12 frozen chickens, some bacon, pork chops and beef.
All organic, no hormones or antibiotics.
I'm so very thankful for this gift. This will get me off to a great start at being able to eat animal protein still and trust the food isn't full of shit. (Sometimes you just have to cuss) :)
Thank you again!
Donation from JT, Laporte, CO.
Monday, April 28, 2014
A little emotion now...
The last post was all facts and not much emotion.
I thought it's only fair to put a little emotion out there too.
For the most part I've been 'ignoring' the problem while taking care of it at the same time.
That may sound like an oxymoron, but let me explain.
I believe the mind can convince the body of almost anything.
I have been doing my best making sure I say "I have been DIAGNOSED with Breast Cancer" instead of saying "I HAVE Breast Cancer". I slip once in a while, I'm only human.
So, I'm doing research and going through the motions but trying to not let it get me down on a daily basis.
Mind over matter, always.
It's getting late but one quick story that I think is funny now but for sure wasn't at the time.
I was making dinner and cutting strawberries.
Started thinking to myself that strawberries don't need to be cut to be eaten and I'm just wasting time. Well, with my mind going 100 miles an hour that quickly lead to I'm wasting life, and who knows how much of it is left.
This lead to tears and an Oscar worthy breakdown slash temper tantrum.
After all was said and done I made it back to the kitchen.
Eric made me a plate of food even though I said I was no longer hungry.
I took the plate, looked around and just felt lost. I had plenty of places I could sit to eat, but for some reason couldn't move to go to any of them, none of them felt like that's where I wanted to be.
Finally after a minute or so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and ate dinner there.
Eric had 2 friends over, the 4 of us sat on the kitchen floor and ate dinner there, no questions asked. One of them didn't even know what was wrong yet, I was convinced he was never going to come back for dinner after that. :)
I have a great man and some pretty good friends too!
I thought it's only fair to put a little emotion out there too.
For the most part I've been 'ignoring' the problem while taking care of it at the same time.
That may sound like an oxymoron, but let me explain.
I believe the mind can convince the body of almost anything.
I have been doing my best making sure I say "I have been DIAGNOSED with Breast Cancer" instead of saying "I HAVE Breast Cancer". I slip once in a while, I'm only human.
So, I'm doing research and going through the motions but trying to not let it get me down on a daily basis.
Mind over matter, always.
It's getting late but one quick story that I think is funny now but for sure wasn't at the time.
I was making dinner and cutting strawberries.
Started thinking to myself that strawberries don't need to be cut to be eaten and I'm just wasting time. Well, with my mind going 100 miles an hour that quickly lead to I'm wasting life, and who knows how much of it is left.
This lead to tears and an Oscar worthy breakdown slash temper tantrum.
After all was said and done I made it back to the kitchen.
Eric made me a plate of food even though I said I was no longer hungry.
I took the plate, looked around and just felt lost. I had plenty of places I could sit to eat, but for some reason couldn't move to go to any of them, none of them felt like that's where I wanted to be.
Finally after a minute or so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and ate dinner there.
Eric had 2 friends over, the 4 of us sat on the kitchen floor and ate dinner there, no questions asked. One of them didn't even know what was wrong yet, I was convinced he was never going to come back for dinner after that. :)
I have a great man and some pretty good friends too!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
The story thus far.
January 2014 - Found 2 lumps on the right side. One large one and one pea sized one.
March 26th, 2014 - Annual physical, Doc is concerned about the smaller lump because it's so far on the 'outside' of the breast area.
April 1st, 2014 - Get an ultrasound to check out what's going on. Results come back before you leave. They want to biopsy the larger lump because it's misshaped. There are 8 pea sized lumps, but they aren't concerning. I said if they are going to biopsy something that is an inch from the other lump they should biopsy both. They agreed to do this.
April 3rd, 2014 - Get a biopsy of both lumps, now wait.
April 4th, 2014 - Primary Doc calls directly (not his nurse), this is never good news. The results came back, good we took 2 biopsies, they are 2 different types of cancer. Time to schedule an appointment with an Oncologist.
April 8th, 2014 - 2 hour meeting with the Oncologist to ask questions, read pathology reports, discuss options and move forward.
April 9th, 2014 Morning - Meet with genetics Doctor to do a BRCA1 & BRCA2 test. Discuss what will happen if this comes back positive... will take 3-4 weeks to get results.
April 9th, 2014 Afternoon - Get a mammogram to look at both sides (only looked at the right thus far). Mammogram results come back mixed, asked to stay to do a full (both sides) ultrasound. Found lumps in the left side. Waiting again.
April 11th, 2014 - Brain MRI. Had complained of headaches. Breast Cancer can spread to the brain so want to double check that it hadn't spread. Wait.
April 15th, 2014 Morning - Breast MRI. Checking all the spots as well as the lymph nodes. This was an interesting experience. Google it if you're bored.
April 15th, 2014 Afternoon - Try to meet with an insurance broker to get new insurance by May 1st.
April 16th, 2014 Morning - Meet with main Surgeon to discuss options and suggestions. Bilateral Mastectomy is decided it is the best choice. Few more decisions to be made, I have until surgery day to decide.
April 16th, 2014 Afternoon - Back to main Doctor to get IUD placed, taken off regular birth control on April 4th.
April 17th, 2014 - Meet with the Oncologist again to followup with what has happened thus far. No brain cancer, this is great news! Plan next steps and appointments.
April 18th, 2014 - Get teeth cleaned, won't be able to do this during Chemotherapy.
April 21st, 2014 - Meet with plastic surgeon to discuss options and what to expect.
April 23rd, 2014 - Get an Echo to make sure heart is healthy enough for Chemo.
April 24th, 2014 - Get 8 cavities filled, a tooth pulled and a crown. Filled even the smallest cavities to better the chances that chemo won't make things worse.
April 27th, 2014 - Start a blog and hope for the best.
Surgery is set for May 6th, 2014.
March 26th, 2014 - Annual physical, Doc is concerned about the smaller lump because it's so far on the 'outside' of the breast area.
April 1st, 2014 - Get an ultrasound to check out what's going on. Results come back before you leave. They want to biopsy the larger lump because it's misshaped. There are 8 pea sized lumps, but they aren't concerning. I said if they are going to biopsy something that is an inch from the other lump they should biopsy both. They agreed to do this.
April 3rd, 2014 - Get a biopsy of both lumps, now wait.
April 4th, 2014 - Primary Doc calls directly (not his nurse), this is never good news. The results came back, good we took 2 biopsies, they are 2 different types of cancer. Time to schedule an appointment with an Oncologist.
April 8th, 2014 - 2 hour meeting with the Oncologist to ask questions, read pathology reports, discuss options and move forward.
April 9th, 2014 Morning - Meet with genetics Doctor to do a BRCA1 & BRCA2 test. Discuss what will happen if this comes back positive... will take 3-4 weeks to get results.
April 9th, 2014 Afternoon - Get a mammogram to look at both sides (only looked at the right thus far). Mammogram results come back mixed, asked to stay to do a full (both sides) ultrasound. Found lumps in the left side. Waiting again.
April 11th, 2014 - Brain MRI. Had complained of headaches. Breast Cancer can spread to the brain so want to double check that it hadn't spread. Wait.
April 15th, 2014 Morning - Breast MRI. Checking all the spots as well as the lymph nodes. This was an interesting experience. Google it if you're bored.
April 15th, 2014 Afternoon - Try to meet with an insurance broker to get new insurance by May 1st.
April 16th, 2014 Morning - Meet with main Surgeon to discuss options and suggestions. Bilateral Mastectomy is decided it is the best choice. Few more decisions to be made, I have until surgery day to decide.
April 16th, 2014 Afternoon - Back to main Doctor to get IUD placed, taken off regular birth control on April 4th.
April 17th, 2014 - Meet with the Oncologist again to followup with what has happened thus far. No brain cancer, this is great news! Plan next steps and appointments.
April 18th, 2014 - Get teeth cleaned, won't be able to do this during Chemotherapy.
April 21st, 2014 - Meet with plastic surgeon to discuss options and what to expect.
April 23rd, 2014 - Get an Echo to make sure heart is healthy enough for Chemo.
April 24th, 2014 - Get 8 cavities filled, a tooth pulled and a crown. Filled even the smallest cavities to better the chances that chemo won't make things worse.
April 27th, 2014 - Start a blog and hope for the best.
Surgery is set for May 6th, 2014.
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